If you are like me, you are one of those people who do weird and strange things at completely the wrong moment and most definitely in the wrong place.
I am not a cougar, although I did date a guy several years my junior several…ok…about ten…years ago. I don’t pretend to be a cougar. I don’t even play one on T.V. However, I think that one of my neighbors may now feel somewhat uncomfortable in his new surroundings; especially with the weird lady downstairs: me.
It all started out innocently enough. I was in my car getting ready to go somewhere…I was so traumatized by the incident I don’t even remember where I was going. But, I digress. I could justify my actions if, indeed, it had actually been cold outside; but this was yesterday. I could even justify them further had the windows of my car been iced over or even had snow covering them, but, no, they were clear and clean. No visual impairments what-so-ever to cover up my faus pax.
I have another neighbor, whom I know well, and often speak to in our comings and goings in the hallways of our building or outside. So, there I was messing around with the heat in my car making all the necessary adjustments to alleviate the chill in my bones from the damp cold outside…yes…that’s it…it was damp and cold outside… Anyway, a car pulls up a few spots over from mine where my longtime neighbor usually parks his car. I wasn’t fully paying attention as to whom it was climbing out of the car that was a completely different color, make and model of the car my neighbor drives. I was busy adjusting the heat.
I happen to glance up as the young man was about to ascend the steps to the door. Thinking it was my other neighbor…again, whom I know well…I proceed to smile and wave and yell "hi" from the car…with the windows rolled up. That poor kid…he couldn’t have been more than twenty years old or so…stood there like a deer caught in the line of sight of a wild predator. After what seemed like several minutes of both of us staring each other down…it was here that the reality of the situation set in for me…he gives me that awkward from the hip wave with a forced smile that was supposed to mask the utter confusion…possibly sheer terror…on his face.
I can see it now, from his point of view: (Imagine slow-motion for effect.) I say, which he can’t hear of course, but was completely able to read my lips, "OMG! What a stupid blank." I, of course, was referring to myself, however, he may not have seen it that way. The guy was so stunned by the situation that he was stuck on the steps, I swear it. He didn’t move an inch until I pulled away. I can imagine what he was thinking at that moment. "She’s crazy." Put that idea into the terms of a much younger person, but that’s probably what it amounted too.
After I was able to detach myself from the stare-down and pull away, I busted out laughing…at myself of course…which then made other drivers wonder what was wrong with the crazy lady involved in hysterical laughter driving down the road. I was really embarrassed and I swear, I am not a cougar. I was not stalking him; nor was I prowling the parking lot for young men to pounce on. I think what I should have been doing was looking for my glasses instead of messing with the heat. I laugh out loud everytime I think about this.
I wonder if he warned his friends and family about the cougar sighting in the parking lot?